Easy-to-process things feel truer, safer, and more appealing.
More quotesThe first line says, “We’re delighted to announce an exciting new chapter.”
The reader already suspects this chapter will involve a price increase.
Paragraph two contains a celebration of quality. Paragraph three explains changing market conditions. The writer waits until paragraph five to state the new price, demonstrating an impressive commitment to avoiding it.
Readers keep going when each section helps them understand, decide or anticipate something worth knowing. Company throat-clearing achieves none of these. Original phrasing can help, although cleverness that delays the answer is simply the same dullness with a grin.
The revised message gives the date and price first. Then it explains what changes, what stays the same and how to cancel. Customers may dislike the decision. At least they can respond to the actual one.
Concision sometimes requires more words. A medical risk, financial choice or technical limit deserves enough explanation for the reader to act safely. Brevity becomes cowardice when it removes the awkward condition and leaves the cheerful claim.
The editor returns to “an exciting new chapter”. Nobody can name the excitement from the customer’s point of view. They delete the phrase.
One colleague says the email now feels blunt. Another says bluntness may be appropriate when taking more from people every month. The price remains unpopular. At least the team finally treats customers as adults.